A Bag of Love!

Tonight I was visited by Jan Parker and Chris Culver, the art teachers at American Heritage. They brought me a large bag of notes and cards from student, parents, and teachers. They are beautiful words of love, appreciation, and memories of my sweet Earl. We had a lovely visit and these sweet ladies allowed me to reminisce about all of the wonderful things about Earl. It was an enjoyable visit and they shared with me how students, a month after Earl passing, are still having a hard time without him at school. It breaks my heart to know that children are sad. I knew he had made an impact on many children, but I am just beginning to understand how big that impact was.

Lessons from Earl

These are the "Lessons from Earl" that I shared at his funeral this week.

Lessons from Earl:

• Smile. Earl was always uncomfortable with his smile, which can be seen in the fact that it is so hard to find pictures of him. But we all have a memory of his smile. Earl was known for his smile. I guess this is why the young children at the school nicknamed him Mr. Smiley. 

• Leave the past, in the past. We all have things that have hurt us, or feel bad about things we may have done in the past. Earl had a hard childhood. Over the years I watched him put that in the past and live in the moment.

• Work hard. Earl has never been comfortable sitting and not doing. In his early years he was invited to join scouts at a later age than most young men, he he joined in with a zest for the program and became an Eagle Scout. In his job, He went full-steam ahead in life, doing everything he could to provide for us as a family and provide for others. Earl never liked to leave a project unfinished. Often I would be ready to quit and Earl would continue on. There were many times shortly after we bought the house that Earl would work late into the night finishing the latest part of the remodel. Earl worked hard so we could play hard.

• Don’t break character. Earl never wavered in his testimony of the gospel. While he was not good at sharing it vocally, or over the pulpit, he lived a life that showed he understood the plan of salvation, while he morned when people passed, he didn’t fear death. Earl always expressed a firm belief that we will live with our Heavenly Father and our families again. Earl lived his testimony each day in the choices he made and the way he conducted himself.

• Be observant, there are opportunities to help along the way. I cannot count the times Earl and I would be walking in the parking lot of a store to find that Earl was no longer next to me. He was putting groceries into the trunk of someone else car who looked overwhelmed. At school he was known for opening doors, especially for teachers with hands full of supplies.  

• Be a friend. In his childhood, Earl did not have very many friends, yet he learned over the years what it meant to be a friend and was truly the best friend to so many. Weather you were 5 or 75, Earl was your friend. He has an uncanny knack for remembering names and the interesting things about people. Earl loved people for who they were. He wanted those around him to feel valued and important while always trying to stay in the background in a supporting role. 

• Love children. Earl has had the privilege of working at America Heritage over the last 4 years in a place where he can show love and lift spirits. So many messages of love have come to me through the week that remind me how much he loved every child. Every child matters because we are all children of God. Earl understood this and loved all with Christlike love. Earl rarely spent time with the adults at gatherings. He preferred the children. He showed them all the love he had to offer, and there is always enough of that to go around.

• Love unconditionally. So many times Earl reminding me when we’re all a little weird, a little different and have our own quirks, and that we need to accept people for who they are. Earl always withheld judgement and found ways to love everyone. He showed his loved through service to those around him. And he loved me. Oh how he loved me. I knew it every day I was with him and will forever be  blessed and changed by his love.

Be Still My Soul

This hymn as been running through my mind all day. I've always loved it and recently David Archulta has rekindled it's popularity. Tonight I cannot sleep as the words still fill my head. We sang this song in Relief Society today right after we learned of the passing of my sweet neighbor, I can't really say we sang it, for it was difficult to sing.

Tori Campbell, has battled with MLD these last few years. Tori lived too short of a life. Her mother has been blogging about the challenges she faces as she is going through this experience with three of her children having a rare genetic illness that will take all of their lives. As I read her blog I am struck with the insights into life and death that she is experiencing. My experiences are so opposite that I struggle to understand the grief and sorrow that the Campbell family is experiencing.

I sit on the opposite end. Six years ago we found out our first, and only child, died in the womb. I was about 20 weeks along when we found out. Being so far along the doctor felt we needed to go through labor and deliver the baby to prevent complications. So the day before Valentines we entered the hospital to give birth to our already dead son.

I will always remember that day. I don't think it had really hit us yet, we were so excited that we were able to even get pregnant, that we just assumed we would have this experience again. I don't remember feeling a great deal of sorrow. In fact, after the initial shock, it felt as if we both came to terms with our loss fairly quickly. We named our son and Earl held him in the palm of his hand, and then we gave him to the nurses. We struggled to name him, because we had chosen specific names that we wanted to name our children, and we didn't want to give up our "first choice." Jonathan was the first name out of my mouth, and it felt just right.

Over the last six years I've cried and grieved at the loss of Jonathan. I feel as if sometimes the pain and grief are stronger now than they were the day we found out he was gone. I know Earl grieves in his own way. We rarely talk about him, it seems awkward in a weird way, and then all of the sudden we begin to reminisce about what he would be doing right now, had he lived. He would be starting first grade this year. Oh how our lives would have been so different, I cannot even contemplate it. 

My connection to Tori comes as I continue to hear the words of the hymn in my head and think of Emily and what she must be going through. While she had seventeen years with Tori, I didn't even get seventeen minutes with Jonathan, yet we are both comforted by the same thing. The plan of salvation means that Emily and Tori will continue their relationship after this life, which I hope brings Emily great peace. As for me, my son and I will begin our relationship in the next life. 

Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on When we shall be forever with the Lord,

When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone, Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past, All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

An Impact

Jun 4, 2011

After 2 years at Lone Peak High, Earl was boo-ed by the faculty when they found out he was leaving. He kept pretty quiet about his departure and it seems some were unhappy with him leaving.
His first year he was named Employee of the Month, and then his second he was named Employee of the Year. He was asked to attend an awards assembly to give him his award and when his name was called it was fun to sit in the audience and listen to all the students around me make comments. "He's awesome!" "He so deserves that, he helps us all the time." "I like him, he's cool."
No matter what the position, we all have an impact on the world around us. Earl is great!

My 1st "Lovey"

Sharee tells me this is THE thing for babies.



Thought I would start making things for my former students. Saige will have her baby some time this month--just over a year after her anniversary. Congratulations Saige and Conner. I hope all goes well with your new baby girl!

Late Night Determination

A friend of mine at work asked me to come to her Relief Society activity where they were making cute, easy table runners. I thought it would be fun and after seeing the pattern figured I could get the entire project done in one night and then could get back to my Christmas sewing.

It was a bad day all around. I spilled a drink inside the printer on my desk at school to start off day. I spent the day wading through the mounds of paperwork that had been scattered while cleaning up. It was my late day at school, so I spent the entire afternoon working with students, trying to get my grading caught up, and just trying to avoid more mistakes. I realized I was going to be late to Relief Society, ran out the door only to get to my friend's house and realize I left the fabric I needed in my office at school. Good thing she lives close!


We got to the church late, me still feeling guilty, and set up our machines. Most of the ladies were already well into the project. In my haste, I ironed interfacing to the wrong side of the fabric, ruining my first attempt. I finally got the second one (which should have been Nikki's) set up, then realized I forgot the card that tells you which stitch is which on the machine. I spent almost ten minutes looking for the right stitch. Got started, looked up, and half the ladies were already leaving. So much for finishing in one night.

By the time I got home it was after 9 p.m. Frustrated with myself for making so many mistakes that I couldn't get the project done, I was too wound up to sleep. I set up the sewing machine again, sat down determined to get the applique part done, and ended up finishing the entire project by midnight! No more mistakes once I got home, got mad at myself, and decided to get even.

In the end, I have this cute table runner for the living room this Christmas. I think it may have been worth it. Thanks Nikki!

(BTW--I was able to completely clean out the printer and it works!!!)

2010 Deer Hunt

All year long Earl anticipates the Deer Hunt. We ready the supplies, make lists, work on the trailer, all of those things we need to have a safe, fun week. This year, we were more prepared than most. We got everything on the list in the trailer and truck (except for extra AA batteries) and were on the road Friday by 12:30! That's a record.

We had a safe drive to Beaver, stopped at a friends house to fill up the water tank in the trailer to find the electrical wires had drug all the way from Orem to Beaver. No more lights! Fortunately, I married a handy man who knows how to take care of that. A quick trip to the local Ace Hardware and we were up and running again.

Unfortunately, when we discovered the wires we also discovered a missing plug in the water tank. An ear plug and some duck tape held that temporarily until we used enough water that it wouldn't leak after that-see I told you he was amazing!

We got up into the mountains safely, set up camp, and then came the rain...actually more rain. It had rained all the previous day and night. The roads were still in pretty good condition, so after a quick meal and a good night's sleep we got up at the crack of dawn Saturday morning, drove out to Earl's best look out point and waited, in the fog and mist, for almost two hours, to see no deer, five head of cattle, and when the fog finally drifted out, Earl's brother-in-law sitting on the next ridge over.

That's pretty much how the entire hunt went. Rain, mud, hanging out with Sheldon, and no deer! Not even one buck. We eventually saw a few does around, talked to a few other hunters who hadn't seen anything either, and the rain just kept coming. Sunday night after slipping and sliding all over the roads, we discover the leaks in the trailer--disappointing, but expected from an older, used trailer. So, Earl "called it" and we packed up and headed off the mountain with a snow storm on our heals. So 2010, not a productive hunt year. Here's to 2011! The video is just like the hunt, short and uneventful...

Small World

In my attempts to break out of my Primary world, I went to my second Relief Society activity since we moved here a year ago (I know, that needs to change). It was a short and great Visiting Teaching conference. I know so few people in the ward, I tend to gravitate to those in Primary, and then occasionally meet other sisters.

Tonight I had a great visit with a sister in the ward who has adopted three children and learned we have more in common than I thought. Then, I met a sister who's last name is Gibbons and her husband's family is from the Snowflake area and are probably decedents of the Gus Gibbons family...cool family connection.

I met anther sister from South Africa who has three children suffering with drug addiction and is a kindred "knitting" spirit. We're going to knit booties together someday, I just know it!

As I was leaving, I was telling a sister in the ward how much Earl admires her yard (she has beautiful flowers) and in talking found out she is Vania Wilkenson's aunt. Boy, we live in a small world.

Relief Society really is a divine organization. It's amazing how I can walk into a room with fifty women, feel the spirit, and come home feeling accepted by those whom before tonight I thought of as strangers.

Mom and Dad are Leaving

I think it really hit home tonight that my parents are going away again, and for a year and a half. Earl and I have come to rely on them for so much lately and while I know we can live without them here, it sure is nice to have them around.

We are also excited to hear about their new adventures in Nauvoo. It's funny, ten years ago it was me having all of these grand adventures and traveling around the world. Now it's my parents. I'm glad they get there turn. We're now saving our pennies so we visit them while they are there.

Does this make sense?

The Living Room

The more I attend classes for school, the better I get at putting these things together. Here's the next video in the saga...

Finally, pictures of the Kitchen Remodel

The Not-so-Secret Garden

This spring and summer has been all about the yard. I forgot to take pictures of the house before Earl started pulling out trees. I found a view from google maps that shows what the yard looked like when we moved in...After Earl and Dad pulled out ten dead trees we started on garden space and flowers. We still have a long way to go, but the neighbors seem to be grateful for what we have accomplished so far. With the majority of the yard being on the side of the house, we sure don't have much privacy. Here's a before and after picture....

365 Day Project

I recently came across a history teacher's blog from somewhere in Missouri who had decided to take a photo a day and create an online photo album of his vision of the world. I've heard of it being done, but I thought this was pretty cool, so I decided to give it a try. I'm on day 2......(hehe) I'll figure out the album later. For now, I'm just enjoying exploring my own yard.

4 Years

It wasn't an eventful day, but it was spent in quiet contemplation. Four years ago today I married Earl. Life with Earl has been full of adventure, not like the adventures I had before I met him, but new adventures that have made my life so enjoyable.

Camping, fishing, hunting just to name a few. We've remodeled two kitchens, moved too many times to count (back and forth from Midvale to mom's, Midvale, Orem) okay, I can count 4, plus a four week stay at mom's again. Earl's been willing to go Shop-hopping with me and has been dragged to too many family events to count...I won't try counting those.

We've discovered Geocaching and made lots of new friends along the way. We've made it through his bachelor's degree and hopefully we will survive my masters, when I finally get around to it. I know there are many more things I could list, but the point is, it's been a wonderful four years.

I hope we have 40 more years of adventures ahead of us. I love you Earl.

The size of my Thumb...

About a year and half ago I stepped off a curb and twisted my ankle pretty good. I felt like if I went to the doctor I would get the same silly air-cast and a pat on the head, so I self medicated and didn't go.

After a year I was still sore and wrapping my ankle on occasion, so I decided I better get to the doctor. Apart from having separated the bones in my foot, I also had a cyst in my ankle. I got a lovely pair of $350 orthodics and a promise that the cyst could come out when ever, but it needed to come out. I was told at least three weeks of recovery was needed.

Not wanting to spoil summer break, I decided to have the surgery three weeks ago. The surgery was quick--I got to the hospital by noon and was home by three. The doctor came out of surgery and told me the cyst was the size of his thumb! I guess that's why I thought I had two ankle bones on one foot. I spent the first three days basically in bed, dutifully walking my five minutes every hour, icing, and staying off my feet. Gradually I have gotten back to being on my feet more. I got the stitches out last week and am wearing a compression sock for who knows how long to ensure the cyst does not redevelop.

It's crazy how we go from one pain to another. The orthodics were helping the pain associated with the bones. The surgery alleviated the aches and swelling in my ankle, but now there are new pains, mostly just soreness from the surgery and a weak ankle that gets tired much to easily. I'm grateful for this new pain, it is far less than the others, but somewhere in my head I felt like after the surgery there should be no pain. Silly me.

Now we hope that I'll get to be more mobile the better I get. I am anxious to move more, garden more, walk more, etc. Half of that depends on my ankle, the other half motivation. Is there a surgery for that?

Reminders

Over the Valentine's weekend Earl reminded me it's been two years since we were given Jonathan and then he was taken away. Feb 13th, 2008 we delivered that sweet little guy and said goodbye.

He's gone for now, but we'll have him forever.

Twilight--the real story.

The video below is not even close to what I normally blog about, but I laughed too hard not to share it!

Martin Luther King Day is a great Anniversary

Yesterday is the fourth anniversary of my first date with Earl. It is hard to believe that just four years ago I decided I was done dating, then this sweet guy calls me up and says he thinks I'd been told about him and would I be interested in meeting.

I will always be grateful to Ryan for suggesting to Earl that he call me. That first phone call lasted almost two hours. Our first date (dinner at the Stowes) was a great way to meet with little pressure. It was also fun to see Earl connect with my niece and nephews--a precursor of our life ahead.

Putting so much energy into the house these last few weeks, Earl was too tired to do much celebrating yesterday, but I did fix a nice dinner and we had a quiet evening at home.

Four years of joy. How blessed I am.